I’ve been asked to write a speech scene for a romantic comedy. Heres the ‘big’ speech part the male romantic lead yells to female lead. Its in an elementary school gymnasium in front of 500 kids, because she’s a teacher. The speech is way too blue. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned after all these years in the industry, its you gotta start massively obscene. Then you can take out all the crude language and lewd parts and philosophically do whatever you want. Yeah, I coulda taught Socrates a thing or two.
BRIAN - (shouting)
…because I require more than your cunt and your hidden eyes, your fabulously clever brain and your oh so wondrous mouth. I want your pain and ugliness too. I want to devour all of you. I want to fuck your insecurity and doubt. I want to fuck all your stubborn arrogance, loneliness and frustration. I want to fuck your heart and your ass - your mouth and your mind. I want to devour every last bit of you and grind you into bliss. I want to cum all over your face and politely kiss you on the cheek in mixed company. I want to hold the door for you and then wrap my hands around your throat as I fuck you into oblivion… until we are overflowing and glowing like idiots.
Because, in the end …. What remains but this joyous moment; I fucked, fought, and danced with every bright piece of junk I had. Why offer anything less than the full spectrum of your endless vibrant color.
These romantic comedies almost write themselves.
