The hunting tribes of New Jeresy is where I first became aware of the energy drink called Skull Smasher. We’d get up real early and go hunt bigfoot in the woods. I’d usually just drink a big Mountain Dew and that would do the trick, it would make me piss alot but it worked and hell, I like Dew. So this old boy Karl gives me the tall black can called “Skullsmasher” and I thought it was an ice brew or something and he said, “Nope, this here will make you understand darkness and live the bright divine secret of your soul.” Well, I did not understand exactly what that meant but that old sumbitch was smiling like a pole cat with its pecker in a light socket. So I chugged er down. And sure enough if I didn’t become a vibrating celestial energy was at peace with all things.
It removed my fear of death.
The day I spent in those woods watching that newborn ancient sun rise while feeling the earth breathe like the center of my own heart had become the grace of all reality… sheoot, it don’t get no better than that. Course it wears off and you build a tolerence and then you empty your bank account and morgage your house and lose you family… but that was just all a scared mans way of living. Now I’m free.
Sure, I’ll suck a dick for a Skull Smasher, but we’re all one cosmic voice singing into the darkness anywho, so its not like I’m totally gay er something.
