Messrs,
I pray I did not offend during my interview with my use of the “C” word. I know in Britain its not quite the foul term it is in America, but I didn’t consider that you being a Norwegian company may perhaps feel different about it. And as always, some people have terms they find discordant and offensive. I assure you gentlemen that I meant no slight to you and yours. I think cunt is a splendid term and perhaps I should define how I use it if I am to be employed by your wonderful company.
For instance, whenever I see a Great White Shark of good size, 5 meters or more, I like to loudly proclaim, “What a great cunt!”
When going for walks or meditating, watching the sun rise or set. I often whisper to myself, “You splendid fucking cunt…”
I always replace the term God with Cunt in my Sunday sermons. “And the Cunt looked upon its creation and said, It is gooood.”
Other times if I find my self despondent and depressed, perhaps I get tired and frustrated and go sit in the backyard under the trees. Sometimes a tear comes to my eye and I think of friends and family gone and how even if all goes wonderfully well, it still all ends in death and tears. But then as I sit the earths hum fills me and I realize that life is completely free and we did nothing to deserve any of it. Even this maudlin Sunday afternoon sadness. Let alone anything as splendid as Great White Sharks, the sun, or sex. We are lucky cunts all.
So please understand that I hold the term ‘cunt’ in the highest regard, but if you still find the term unsettling, or any other words for that matter, please do tell and I’ll arrange for them to be stricken from my vocabulary henceforth.
Sitting quietly eating peaches,
Jade Bos