Hookers or Cake

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I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • June 26, 2012 1:22 am
            Eve should’ve stayed with the snake. They had it going on. Telling God to fuck off, eating of the tree of knowlege, kickin it in the Garden of Eden, but she had to tell that meathead, Adam. And Adam squealed to God and blamed her, another total whimp bitch move, they both got evicted - had some real asshole kids… What a shitty fucking story. No wonder most Christians suck. We fucked up heaven and God threw us out. No wonder we treat the world like shit. Heaven exists somewhere else, fuck this place. Its womans fault! Not mine. I’m just a dumb nice guy. See also, knowlege equals bad news.   Stay with the snake, ladies. God is love and totally digs snakes. Sweet Jesus, I hope I’m not turning into Jim Morrison.

            Eve should’ve stayed with the snake. They had it going on. Telling God to fuck off, eating of the tree of knowlege, kickin it in the Garden of Eden, but she had to tell that meathead, Adam. And Adam squealed to God and blamed her, another total whimp bitch move, they both got evicted - had some real asshole kids…

            What a shitty fucking story. No wonder most Christians suck. We fucked up heaven and God threw us out. No wonder we treat the world like shit. Heaven exists somewhere else, fuck this place. Its womans fault! Not mine. I’m just a dumb nice guy.

            See also, knowlege equals bad news.  

            Stay with the snake, ladies. God is love and totally digs snakes.

            Sweet Jesus, I hope I’m not turning into Jim Morrison.

            80 notes Filed under:  and snakes are easy to make!, prose,.
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