Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • January 3, 2011 1:05 pm
            Who are these people? What are they doing? My best friend died and all his obituary said was a list of different schools he went to and the names of his cousins. So at the funeral I felt compelled to tell everyone his final wishes involved his body being placed on a giant spring and being flung off into the woods.    “Just leave the body, wherever it lands for the wolves to drag off,” he said. I’d like to color all the plain obituaries - like the mortician who painted the bodies of the deceased with colorful directions for the afterlife.     Hard Left at The River Styx - 0.3 miles I’m reminded of my grandfather, who was buried in full drag. He’d never dressed in womens clothing or had any such desires in his waking life. But I was watching TV with him when I was a little kid, and Mr. Belvedere died. I asked “Where do people go when the die?” and he replied,   “No one ever dies, they just shimmer forever after.” and in his casket he shimmered in a sparkling blue, bare midriff evening gown by designer Jean Louis - his WWII navy tattoos dancing once again.

            Who are these people? What are they doing? My best friend died and all his obituary said was a list of different schools he went to and the names of his cousins. So at the funeral I felt compelled to tell everyone his final wishes involved his body being placed on a giant spring and being flung off into the woods.

               “Just leave the body, wherever it lands for the wolves to drag off,” he said.

            I’d like to color all the plain obituaries - like the mortician who painted the bodies of the deceased with colorful directions for the afterlife.

                Hard Left at The River Styx - 0.3 miles

            I’m reminded of my grandfather, who was buried in full drag. He’d never dressed in womens clothing or had any such desires in his waking life. But I was watching TV with him when I was a little kid, and Mr. Belvedere died. I asked “Where do people go when the die?”

            and he replied,

              “No one ever dies, they just shimmer forever after.”

            and in his casket he shimmered in a sparkling blue, bare midriff evening gown by designer Jean Louis - his WWII navy tattoos dancing once again.

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