Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • June 12, 2012 2:07 am
            I felt like there were little bugs biting me underneath my desk, so I needed to gird my skin. At first I just put on really long socks, but then they attacked my back and face so I fashioned an body suit out of two red Snuggie’s™. My entire body is covered from head to toe. I’ve also sewn googles into them so no bugs can get me. Of course I needed to make sure that there are no bugs in the suit before I put it on so I got it as hot as I could and put it on real fast. The polyester burned my skin and melded itself to me. I fear it would be to painful to take off so now I live in it. For some reason I’ve also stopped speaking and I’ve written words onto my Snuggie™ skin in black tip marker. Hate, Candy, Laughter… ect. I point to the words and hum loud music to convey my feelings about what I had for lunch or how I feel about politics or the weather. Its really been terrific fun. My only wish would be that my family would be a bit more supportive.

            I felt like there were little bugs biting me underneath my desk, so I needed to gird my skin. At first I just put on really long socks, but then they attacked my back and face so I fashioned an body suit out of two red Snuggie’s™. My entire body is covered from head to toe. I’ve also sewn googles into them so no bugs can get me. Of course I needed to make sure that there are no bugs in the suit before I put it on so I got it as hot as I could and put it on real fast. The polyester burned my skin and melded itself to me. I fear it would be to painful to take off so now I live in it. For some reason I’ve also stopped speaking and I’ve written words onto my Snuggie™ skin in black tip marker. Hate, Candy, Laughter… ect. I point to the words and hum loud music to convey my feelings about what I had for lunch or how I feel about politics or the weather. Its really been terrific fun. My only wish would be that my family would be a bit more supportive.

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            9. said: belly laugh!
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