My online dating profile never received much interest until I listed one of my hobbies as dog fighting. Then I received all sorts of wonderful passionate hate mail. Of course it was mistake. I’d meant to write ‘pie’ fighting, because I’m sooo hilarious, but I must’ve been interrupted, perhaps by my own dog, Mr. Giggles.
After receiving more attention from the ladies than I had in my entire life, I was somewhat hesitant to admit my mistake, so I tried to spin it into a story. I told all the ladies that I was an entrepreneur and that I ran a dog pie fighting business, called Puppy Pie Fight! Basically I’d get a bunch of dogs together and throw pies at them and then the dogs eat the pies. Everyone wins! Dogs get pie and hopefully I meet some nice ladies.
The only problem was that dogs really love pie, so much that they will eat it until they vomit. And after they vomit they love nothing more than to eat the vomit. Of course they eat too much vomit and vomit it up again and then eat it - rinse and repeat ect. It was like the Myth of Sisyphus only with vomiting dogs, needless to say the ladies were not amused.
So thats how I spent the rest of my years. Alone, living way out on the edge of town with a wild pack of vomiting dogs.
