Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • April 7, 2012 12:17 am
            He’d become famous for writing an opera about a salad shooter. I guess it had connected with the audience as a metaphor on the human condition. I went to see it and here are my thoughts. Act I - six minutes and fourteen seconds In the beginning the salad shooter is a proud present that is used with much joy. - You are born and learn how to fuck. Act II - twelve hours and forty three minutes The salad shooter is happy but all it does anymore is cut carrots and celery, celery and carrots, carrots and celery, celery and carrots. And once a radish. - You settle into mid-life routine and are bored shitless. Act III - three minutes even The salad shooter’s attachment breaks and its thrown into a cupboard and forgotten. - You die. Act IV - one minute and thirty two seconds The salad shooter is sold at a garage sale for one dollar and purchased by a man who takes it home and puts the salad shooter in his ass. - The afterlife… (sorry)

            He’d become famous for writing an opera about a salad shooter. I guess it had connected with the audience as a metaphor on the human condition. I went to see it and here are my thoughts.

            Act I - six minutes and fourteen seconds

            In the beginning the salad shooter is a proud present that is used with much joy.

            - You are born and learn how to fuck.

            Act II - twelve hours and forty three minutes

            The salad shooter is happy but all it does anymore is cut carrots and celery, celery and carrots, carrots and celery, celery and carrots. And once a radish.

            - You settle into mid-life routine and are bored shitless.

            Act III - three minutes even

            The salad shooter’s attachment breaks and its thrown into a cupboard and forgotten.

            - You die.

            Act IV - one minute and thirty two seconds

            The salad shooter is sold at a garage sale for one dollar and purchased by a man who takes it home and puts the salad shooter in his ass.

            - The afterlife… (sorry)

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