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I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • April 1, 2012 1:55 am
            In the 5th grade I wrote a short story about a boy who wanted to kill himself so he slit his wrists. Only, the kid forgets its Aprils Fools’ Day so when his parents find him they think he’s joking and pretend to ignore him, he bleeds to death as a result. Then the parents have to tell everyone and everyone thinks they’re joking. The father finally breaks down and stabs a priest and is shot and killed by the cops. The mother lives, but never leaves the house except on April Fools’ Day, naked and cover in tomato sauce. I thought it was pretty clever and turned it in for a short story contest. I didn’t win, but I got to visit a special doctor and he gave me some special vitamins that made me happy forever after.

            In the 5th grade I wrote a short story about a boy who wanted to kill himself so he slit his wrists. Only, the kid forgets its Aprils Fools’ Day so when his parents find him they think he’s joking and pretend to ignore him, he bleeds to death as a result. Then the parents have to tell everyone and everyone thinks they’re joking. The father finally breaks down and stabs a priest and is shot and killed by the cops. The mother lives, but never leaves the house except on April Fools’ Day, naked and cover in tomato sauce.

            I thought it was pretty clever and turned it in for a short story contest. I didn’t win, but I got to visit a special doctor and he gave me some special vitamins that made me happy forever after.

            155 notes Filed under:  prose, April Fools Day,.
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            4. thedailydoodles said: My stories weren’t as cool in 5th grade :’-(
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