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I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • March 31, 2012 2:01 am

            You know you are too high when…

            you make a suicide pact with Cap’n Crunch?

            59 notes
            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            2. answered: You believe a gnome stole your fucking lighter and you give chase into a forest in the dead of night.
            3. thedailydoodles answered: I wish I still had my cap’n crunch wallet thingy that came with boxes during some big contest thingy they had.
            4. answered: You’re trying to smoke a bong without a slider piece in it, even though your roommate is packing the bowl right next to you.
            5. answered: …when you FOLLOW THROUGH w the suicide pact
            6. answered: I could see that happening, he’s always slicing up the roof of my mouth when we get together…
            7. answered: when you wave at a horse
            8. answered: but he cuts the roof of your mouth to bring you back to your senses.
            9. answered: When you forget the words to Barbra Streisand.
            10. answered: high of of what?
            11. answered: don’t do it man, it’s a Trix
            12. answered: Get back to me when you make it with Fruit Loops. Until then you’re just a part timer.
            13. answered: you spend 6 hrs naked, creating an intricate melted wax dam system, Miles Davis on repeat & keep saying this acid isn’t working
            14. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            15. answered: You write a letter to a Dremel Tool. And you mail it.
            16. answered: you plant your toenail clippings in the garden, and sit and wait
            17. answered: purple pralines drive your car for your, and you’re all like, hey, why aren’t you my desert?
            18. answered: how you know youre just high enough
            19. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            20. answered: The bottle of zinfandel is empty and you start dancing to Robert Miles
          by Peter Vidani. For .
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