On ebay, I recently purchased a coke spoon that had been custom made and owned by Sean Penn. Its made out of a rare golden silver, turquoise, and bone. I swear on the quiet afternoons this thing whispers stories to me.
My unborn son told me I’m too young to remember, but when I was older, I beat the shit the mayor of Cincinnati.
The mayor had killed a great spirit animal that he couldn’t see.
It lived in the heart of the woods behind K-mart. And because he couldn’t see it he ordered the whole woods burned down. I tried to stop em but the city council voted and it was unanimous.
We suck.
So I kicked the mayors ass at the annual Labor Day parade. I took a flying run at him and tackled him outta the back seat of a 69’ Camaro he was sitting it waving to all the town folk. I knocked him into the street and got about three good shots on him before I was taken out by a bunch of Shriners in their miniature clown cars. I still was able to kick him a couple of times before they and a couple of trombone players pinned me down for good.
Whenever I’m feeling glum and down on myself, I always think about that day and knocking that stupid mother fuckers teeth outta his head. It always makes me proud.
