Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

    • Illustration
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

      -----------------------------------

      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

      --------------------------------------

      • Inspiration
      • art
      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

        -----------------------------------------

        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

          -----------------------------------------

          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
          ----------------------------------------
          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • November 29, 2010 9:21 pm
            Listen you piece of washed up dogshit. I’ve been  following your blog  for years now and I think you just may be the dumbest bag of cuddle monkeys I’ve ever laid eyes on. If you think only nearsighted assholes spam people,  well then maybe you should   take a look at my blog . FUCK OFF AND DIE!!! warmest regards Hookers of Cake I’ve been working on some online marketing and have been told that I need to spam the holy living shit out of everything in the universe. Soooo I’m torn between just flat out insulting people right up front or going the porn spam route. Hey Sugar Last night my face looked like a glazed donut! Why don’t you and  seven or eight of your closest online pals   come on over and bring that robot cock and whatever wild animals you find in the front yard. A massive online marketing scam like me sure gets lonely and needs a little personal attention from time to time. cockcravingly yours, Hookers or Cake So which one do you like best?

            Listen you piece of washed up dogshit. I’ve been  following your blog  for years now and I think you just may be the dumbest bag of cuddle monkeys I’ve ever laid eyes on. If you think only nearsighted assholes spam people,  well then maybe you should   take a look at my blog .

            FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!

            warmest regards

            Hookers of Cake

            I’ve been working on some online marketing and have been told that I need to spam the holy living shit out of everything in the universe. Soooo I’m torn between just flat out insulting people right up front or going the porn spam route.

            Hey Sugar

            Last night my face looked like a glazed donut! Why don’t you and  seven or eight of your closest online pals   come on over and bring that robot cock and whatever wild animals you find in the front yard. A massive online marketing scam like me sure gets lonely and needs a little personal attention from time to time.

            cockcravingly yours,

            Hookers or Cake

            So which one do you like best?

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            2. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            3. answered: cake you only get diabetes from it hookers you can get all kinds of diseases and legal obligations are always a factor with hookers so CAKE!!
            4. answered: I like them both but the first one made me laugh out loud.
            5. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            6. answered: Cockcravingly yours… i am stealing your line. yes second.
            7. answered: Hmm…Perhaps if you combined them?
            8. answered: first one
            9. answered: cakes with hookers on them
            10. cowboy-killr answered: TELL THEM YOU WALKED INTO A DOOR bit.ly/d9ZvYA
            11. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            12. answered: Hookers or… spam? …the cake is a lie.
            13. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            14. answered: The porn route was much more entertaining. But the insults… better if individualized.
            15. answered: A combination of the two.
            16. answered: cuddle monkeys
            17. answered: The former has a better chance of getting around filters, but “cockcravingly yours” is too good to not use. Mix & match for success.
            18. answered: Hey Sugar. Fo Sho.
            19. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            20. answered: Oh, hands down, cockcravingly yours!
            21. answered: Do the porn spam thing but insult them at the same time.
            22. answered: Porn. Duh.
            23. answered: get in my face and insult the fuck out of me. or maybe comebine the two routes and literally insult the fuck out of me. ;)
            24. hookersorcake posted this