Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

    • Illustration
    • My Videos
    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

      -----------------------------------

      Amazon.com Widgets

      -------------------------------------- more fun categories

      --------------------------------------

      • Inspiration
      • art
      • ----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

        -----------------------------------------

        • Rrrick
        • Fuzzy Dave
        • Wonder Tonic
        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

          -----------------------------------------

          • Josh Luft
          • I'm a Veronica
        • Mr. King was here
          • Aloha Friday
          ----------------------------------------
          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • March 17, 2012 1:33 am
            Am I the only one who thinks this whole Kony director meltdown thing is totally fucking splendid?! I mean besides all the raping and the killing and genocide and shit. I’m talking about the white dude losing his shit, nude in broad daylight on a street corner?! I mean I totally feel for the dude. When I lost my job at the Sizzler and Trish broke up with me and I got them bunk rolls that turned out to be PCP… lets just say it was a emotionally cleansing experience, but wow, this guy is… hopefully he’s just really into the whole viral marketing thing. If not, maybe spend a couple of those bucks you made on some good therapy. Maybe save James Russel before you save the world. hmmm? Either way, thank you for making your 15 minutes so fucking epic! *** and don’t get all “This poor man is in the hospital!” on me, ok? Have you ever been to a Grateful Dead show? There were always about 50 nude white dudes loosing their shit at every show. They even had their own section right next to the handicapable section. White guy loosing his shit, nude in public, is a right of passage. We have no more better ritual than signifying our complete bewildering agony at living in a horrific world in which white dudes like us have basically tortured humanity as soon as it crawled out of the ocean. We got billions of years of guilt hardwired into our boring, terrified flesh. So congrats on joining the club of human fucking beings Jason Russel! We are all nuts.

            Am I the only one who thinks this whole Kony director meltdown thing is totally fucking splendid?! I mean besides all the raping and the killing and genocide and shit. I’m talking about the white dude losing his shit, nude in broad daylight on a street corner?! I mean I totally feel for the dude. When I lost my job at the Sizzler and Trish broke up with me and I got them bunk rolls that turned out to be PCP… lets just say it was a emotionally cleansing experience, but wow, this guy is… hopefully he’s just really into the whole viral marketing thing. If not, maybe spend a couple of those bucks you made on some good therapy. Maybe save James Russel before you save the world. hmmm?

            Either way, thank you for making your 15 minutes so fucking epic!

            *** and don’t get all “This poor man is in the hospital!” on me, ok? Have you ever been to a Grateful Dead show? There were always about 50 nude white dudes loosing their shit at every show. They even had their own section right next to the handicapable section.

            White guy loosing his shit, nude in public, is a right of passage. We have no more better ritual than signifying our complete bewildering agony at living in a horrific world in which white dudes like us have basically tortured humanity as soon as it crawled out of the ocean. We got billions of years of guilt hardwired into our boring, terrified flesh. So congrats on joining the club of human fucking beings Jason Russel! We are all nuts.

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            2. reblogged this from
            3. reblogged this from
            4. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            5. said: I am thoroughly relishing this with great glee.
            6. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            7. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            8. said: to be fair hes not a millionaire. he only made 90 k from the film.
            9. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added: