Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • February 21, 2012 12:21 am
            My rich crazy uncle, Ted had his Olympic size pool filled entirely with pudding. He then held a huge art gala and did a perfect 1 1/2 backflip off of the 5 meter spring board right into all that puddin’.  People dived in and tried to save him but they too began to drown and people jumped in to save them and they started drowning and eventually everyone was dead. It was a horrible tragedy but strangely my uncles body was never found. Bizarre terrible things started happening. Some nights the locals say if you listen real close you can almost hear the eery high pitched giggling of the puddin’ vampire!

            My rich crazy uncle, Ted had his Olympic size pool filled entirely with pudding. He then held a huge art gala and did a perfect 1 1/2 backflip off of the 5 meter spring board right into all that puddin’.  People dived in and tried to save him but they too began to drown and people jumped in to save them and they started drowning and eventually everyone was dead.

            It was a horrible tragedy but strangely my uncles body was never found.

            Bizarre terrible things started happening.

            Some nights the locals say if you listen real close you can almost hear the eery high pitched giggling of the puddin’ vampire!

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