Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • February 15, 2012 1:03 am
            When Timmy was a small child his parents died suddenly leaving him orphan. It didn’t bother him at first, because he didn’t really know what an orphan was. But late one night he heard a monster tapping on his bedroom window. He began crying but no one came, no one except the monster. The monster crawled around the empty house and Timmy lay frozen in fear. In the morning he’d wake up and the monster would be gone.Later while in the foster home Timmy had dreams. The monster would sneak up behind him at dinner time and drag him away. No one would notice, they’d all just keep on eating. Every home he went to the monster would come and drag him away. No one ever noticed. By the time he became an adult and joined the military the monster had stopped coming for him. It took Timmy a while to realize, it was because the monster was now him.


            When Timmy was a small child his parents died suddenly leaving him orphan. It didn’t bother him at first, because he didn’t really know what an orphan was. But late one night he heard a monster tapping on his bedroom window. He began crying but no one came, no one except the monster. The monster crawled around the empty house and Timmy lay frozen in fear. In the morning he’d wake up and the monster would be gone.

            Later while in the foster home Timmy had dreams. The monster would sneak up behind him at dinner time and drag him away. No one would notice, they’d all just keep on eating. Every home he went to the monster would come and drag him away. No one ever noticed.

            By the time he became an adult and joined the military the monster had stopped coming for him. It took Timmy a while to realize, it was because the monster was now him.

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