Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • February 12, 2012 10:51 pm

            In order to not cry like a little bitch, when Jennifer Hudson sang “I Will Always Love You”

            I imagined the length and elasticity of Sir Paul McCartney’s scrotum. What did you do to keep from crying?

            39 notes Filed under:  The Grammy's, class, I still cried cuz I'm a dumb old softie,.
            1. answered: It’s ok to cry, buddy. =) Just FYI!
            2. answered: I watched The Walking Dead. I can take zombie grossness but I could not watch the lady eating wet cat food on My Strange Addiction
            3. answered: i withstood the pain by not watching the grammys.
            4. said: Watched the live backstage coverage online. 3 live feeds from CBS/Grammys. Didn’t miss much.
            5. answered: ….i remembered whitney was dead….
            6. answered: I skipped watching the Grammys. That’s what I did.
            7. answered: CRACK
            8. answered: LMAO
            9. answered: Didn’t watch it. Worked like a charm.
            10. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            11. hookersorcake posted this
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