Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • February 7, 2012 1:17 am
            I had the dream again last night. I’m at a party. I walk out of the bathroom, go into the kitchen for another beer, and the Devil is trying to talk Jesus into smashing a whole watermelon on the floor. There is a little baby sitting on the counter and the Devil is saying, “Look at this little baby, do you know how happy this baby would be if you just smashed this whole watermelon right on the floor?!” And you could see that Jesus was seriously considering it. And I’m like, “Jesus, what the fuck are you thinking? The Devil has offered you riches and to make you the ruler of the world and your just gonna smash a watermelon on the floor to make a baby laugh?” And Jesus looks at me dead serious and says “What, You don’t think it would be funny?”

            I had the dream again last night. I’m at a party. I walk out of the bathroom, go into the kitchen for another beer, and the Devil is trying to talk Jesus into smashing a whole watermelon on the floor. There is a little baby sitting on the counter and the Devil is saying, “Look at this little baby, do you know how happy this baby would be if you just smashed this whole watermelon right on the floor?!” And you could see that Jesus was seriously considering it. And I’m like, “Jesus, what the fuck are you thinking? The Devil has offered you riches and to make you the ruler of the world and your just gonna smash a watermelon on the floor to make a baby laugh?” And Jesus looks at me dead serious and says “What, You don’t think it would be funny?”

            1. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            2. thedailydoodles answered: Jesus’s twin brother will buy the watermelon smashing act from him and go on tour with Jesus’s name!
            3. answered: I love the way your mind works
            4. answered: This would be such a fantastic music video.
            5. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            6. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            7. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            8. said: I love that about Jesus….
            9. answered: if the watermelon had the hair of Gallagher or or maybe the baby the head of Gallagher? i dunno…
            10. answered: Just to see how the baby would react even…