Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • January 24, 2012 12:21 am
            I was driving through Little Havana when I saw an old woman selling what looked to be armfuls of brightly colored fruit. She was slowly moving through the cars towards me and before I knew it I’d rolled down my window and held out a dollar. She held up three long fingers. I found a five in my pocket and she nodded giving me two pieces - one green and one yellow. Cocking her head sideways she moved her face close to mine, “I ya tay” she whispered. She kinda freaked me out. She looked like an Asian mummy.  “Not a good sales plan,” I chuckled. “…freaking out the customers.” Someone honked. The light was green and off I sped. At the next light I examined the fruit. It was oddly bright but when you looked closer it appeared to be dusty, almost blurry. I looked around blinking, trying to adjust my eyes, but everything had become, the sky… it was all so vivid. I looked back at the fruit, it had turned black and shriveled in my hand. I felt such peace. I opened the car door and stepped out. The fucking air! It felt so good. I breathed in deep and felt alive! The cars all honked a bright loud chorus. And the gentlemen behind me stuck his head out of the car window and started screaming and cursing at me. I walked towards him and he seemed to get suddenly frightened. As I got closer I realized it was Higgins from Magnum P.I.! He tried to roll his window up but I just put my hand on the top of it and I leaned in, Higgins was cowering. “Higgins,” I said. “Don’t be afraid. Its me Jade. I love you. I think you are the best.”  And he looked at me. He had such frightened bashful eyes. I smoothed his hair with my hand. “You are the best of us Higgins,” I said, choking back tears. “Do you remember?” I saw that he understood as we gazed into each others eyes. Time and form fell away in that moment and it felt as if my heart was a great soaring bird. The sun broke through a cloud and I just turned around and got back into my car. I now knew. My heart was at peace. The cruel veil of reality had been devoured by some strange fruit and the purity of a man called Higgins.

            I was driving through Little Havana when I saw an old woman selling what looked to be armfuls of brightly colored fruit. She was slowly moving through the cars towards me and before I knew it I’d rolled down my window and held out a dollar. She held up three long fingers. I found a five in my pocket and she nodded giving me two pieces - one green and one yellow. Cocking her head sideways she moved her face close to mine, “I ya tay” she whispered. She kinda freaked me out. She looked like an Asian mummy.  “Not a good sales plan,” I chuckled. “…freaking out the customers.” Someone honked. The light was green and off I sped.

            At the next light I examined the fruit. It was oddly bright but when you looked closer it appeared to be dusty, almost blurry. I looked around blinking, trying to adjust my eyes, but everything had become, the sky… it was all so vivid. I looked back at the fruit, it had turned black and shriveled in my hand.

            I felt such peace. I opened the car door and stepped out. The fucking air! It felt so good. I breathed in deep and felt alive! The cars all honked a bright loud chorus. And the gentlemen behind me stuck his head out of the car window and started screaming and cursing at me. I walked towards him and he seemed to get suddenly frightened. As I got closer I realized it was Higgins from Magnum P.I.! He tried to roll his window up but I just put my hand on the top of it and I leaned in, Higgins was cowering. “Higgins,” I said. “Don’t be afraid. Its me Jade. I love you. I think you are the best.”  And he looked at me. He had such frightened bashful eyes. I smoothed his hair with my hand. “You are the best of us Higgins,” I said, choking back tears. “Do you remember?” I saw that he understood as we gazed into each others eyes. Time and form fell away in that moment and it felt as if my heart was a great soaring bird. The sun broke through a cloud and I just turned around and got back into my car. I now knew. My heart was at peace. The cruel veil of reality had been devoured by some strange fruit and the purity of a man called Higgins.

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            2. said: This is beautiful! Thank you Jade
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