Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • January 10, 2012 10:22 pm
            Last spring I went down to that new church by the river. Everyone just looked at their I-phones while the minister gulped hot coffee and screamed at gods crotch I was still heartbroken over losing Tammy but I was happy I’d decided to go to the old steakhouse after church to have myself a nice steak dinner and a few highballs then I’d blow my brains out while I rode the mechanical bull But once I got a bellyfull of whiskey and drew my revolver, riding that bull …ohh the screams! I still get hard when I think about it.

            Last spring I went down to that new church by the river.

            Everyone just looked at their I-phones while the minister

            gulped hot coffee and screamed at gods crotch

            I was still heartbroken over losing Tammy

            but I was happy

            I’d decided to go to the old steakhouse after church

            to have myself a nice steak dinner and a few highballs

            then I’d blow my brains out while I rode the mechanical bull

            But once I got a bellyfull of whiskey and drew my revolver, riding that bull

            …ohh the screams!

            I still get hard when I think about it.

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