…and did you know that eating cookie dough is environmentally friendly?
I know what you’re saying,“Shut the fuck up, I love cookie dough but it can’t possibly be good for the earth, can it?
Yes it can my friends, and yes it is. You see, cookie dough is the perfect food, that is until scientists figure out how to inject meatloaf straight into your brain! (audience laughs)
I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “What makes cookie dough so special?” For starters, it cuts out the middle man. No one needs to bake cookie dough. No more wasting all that time and energy. Plus, theres no mess to clean up, no bakers to hire and no ovens to build.
And unlike fruit and vegetables, you don’t even have to chew it. Thats right friends, if you just sit really still, it’ll dissolve right in your mouth into a gelatinous goo. All you have to do is swallow. Suppertime will never be the same!
Isn’t it time you said “No” to the rest of your life and said “Yes!” to cookie dough!