Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • December 5, 2011 10:54 am
            You have to believe we are magic.The TV was muted and there was a light beer commercial on. All the people in the commercial were attractive and pretending to drink beer. No one was pretending to be drunk though. They were just pretending to be having the best pretend time social constraints would allow. Watching TV in a pretend bar with their thin pretend excitable friends.There was a pretend football game on the TV, with pretend football players pretending to play a real pretend game. By the reactions of the pretty pretend people in the bar the pretend football game seemed to be a particularly good one. I even saw a pretend football coach pretend to get into an pretend argument with a pretend referee.I wondered if the pretend coach’s pretend family was pretending to watchin their pretend house out in the pretend suburbs.Did the pretend coach’s pretend wife still pretend to love him after he stopped pretending to give a fuck?What about the pretend children? Where did it all go wrong? The pretend couple will have been married 20 pretend years this pretend Spring. Should they seek pretend marriage counseling? Should they stop pretending?  Will the whole pretend world unravel if they do?

            You have to believe we are magic.

            The TV was muted and there was a light beer commercial on. All the people in the commercial were attractive and pretending to drink beer. No one was pretending to be drunk though. They were just pretending to be having the best pretend time social constraints would allow. Watching TV in a pretend bar with their thin pretend excitable friends.
            There was a pretend football game on the TV, with pretend football players pretending to play a real pretend game. By the reactions of the pretty pretend people in the bar the pretend football game seemed to be a particularly good one. I even saw a pretend football coach pretend to get into an pretend argument with a pretend referee.
            I wondered if the pretend coach’s pretend family was pretending to watch
            in their pretend house out in the pretend suburbs.
            Did the pretend coach’s pretend wife still pretend to love him after he stopped pretending to give a fuck?
            What about the pretend children? Where did it all go wrong? The pretend couple will have been married 20 pretend years this pretend Spring. Should they seek pretend marriage counseling? Should they stop pretending?  Will the whole pretend world unravel if they do?

            1. reblogged this from
            2. answered: Who does really care anymore? Who is real? What is real?
            3. answered: you could pretend that it would, and that it wouldnt. :)
            4. answered: aack!
            5. answered: I’d say yes.
            6. answered: Pretend I have an answer
            7. answered: are we pretending now?
            8. This was featured in
            9. answered: Just pretend it happened to someone else.. :)
            10. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            11. answered: Don’t let Alvin Stardust get in your eyes.
            12. answered: Now I have Modern English stuck in my head AND the word pretend has lost all meaning. THANKS JADE. <3
            13. answered: one time i burped really loud in a bar during a lull in all the conversations and they pretended not to notice.
            14. answered: I love this..
            15. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            16. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            17. reblogged this from hookersorcake