I was in Geneo, Italy for work. Staying at a hotel with a crew of guys. We’d all go out to eat together almost every night after work. There was this one little mom and pop joint just behind the hotel. It was small and quaint, nice table cloths and lace curtains. But the serving ware was all mismatched, it was almost like the restaurant was their home.The owner Gustavo was always happy to see us. With a round of aperitifs and a shot of grappa at the end. We were Americans so we ate early and were usually leaving about the time the place was filling up. One night we were late and Gustavo’s son Marco had to put together a couple tables right in the middle of the place. Surrounded by little old Italian couples and a couple of smaller families.
Marco did all the pizza making. Throwing the dough, spinning it, the whole bit. He also like to play his radio and it was loud enough to be the defacto music for the whole place. Well this was around the time that 50 cent had that big hit with that Mother Fucking P.I.M.P. song and yeah that was playing, unedited. I guess all these old Italian families didn’t know what he was saying even if they would’ve understood English.
It was around the lyrics,
“Ho make a pimp rich, I ain’t paying bitch
Catch a date, suck a dick, sheiiit, Trick,”
I looked up at Jefferson, who was this Eminem kinda kid that worked with us and he whispered to me all wide-eyed. “Yo dog! This is some fucked up shit right here!” It felt like a Fellini movie directed by Jim Jarmusch.
It was that same night that Gustavo brought out some dried hot red peppers and I crushed em up whole in my hands and put it right on the Diavolo pizza I was eating. Oh boy did all the Italians think that was something. “Pazzo Americano! Si mangia Satan!” So after some affragotto (heaven) and a grappa I sauntered back to the hotel. My lips felt like there where pleasantly burning off in the cool mediterranean breeze. As if I was re-entering the earths atmosphere.
Still aglow form the wine I got up to my room and my thoughts took afancy for the ladies. I looked towards the clock and realized I’d needed to be waking up in about six hours for work. So internet porn it was. The warm glow of mysterious smiles and endless curling hunger. So infinitely simple the base rush of animal longing. Oh hey! what the hell? Getting kinda warm down there… whats going on?
Yep. Guess who forgot to wash his hands after crushing up all those red hot peppers?
