Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • November 19, 2011 1:04 am
            I’ve always had a strong desire for mental stability. In fact I used to be a bit nervous about life in general and the idea that we’re completely alone in a random universe. Luckily I found a hobby. I took up baby killing. Now I’m racked with constant paranoia and suffocating guilt, but life’s no longer boring and I’ve made a lot of interesting friends. I’ve also decided to go back to trade school and finish my electronics degree. With my new high paying vocation I will be able to purchase a Porsche 944 and have my penis and testicles removed.Its funny, isn’t it? Life is just like a box of chocolates…a box of chocolates that will someday eat your face. and won’t that be just grand! (This is from my serial killer childrens book - a kind of ‘The Little Engine That Could’ only for young serial killers ages 3-6) Title ideas?

            I’ve always had a strong desire for mental stability. In fact I used to be a bit nervous about life in general and the idea that we’re completely alone in a random universe. Luckily I found a hobby. I took up baby killing. Now I’m racked with constant paranoia and suffocating guilt, but life’s no longer boring and I’ve made a lot of interesting friends.
            I’ve also decided to go back to trade school and finish my electronics degree. With my new high paying vocation I will be able to purchase a Porsche 944 and have my penis and testicles removed.
            Its funny, isn’t it? Life is just like a box of chocolates…a box of chocolates that will someday eat your face. and won’t that be just grand!

            (This is from my serial killer childrens book - a kind of ‘The Little Engine That Could’ only for young serial killers ages 3-6)

            Title ideas?

            61 notes
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            4. answered: the pleasures and perils of strange leisure: if I don’t get killed in the pursuit, I’ll be an appetizer in prison
            5. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            6. answered: The BearenGein Bears? Goodnight Manson? If You Give A Mouse A Circular Saw, 400ft of Plastic Sheeting, and a 55 Gallon Drum?
            7. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            8. answered: Norman makes a Friend
            9. reblogged this from hookersorcake
            10. answered: I have no title worth mentioning. I just wanted to say that this is fucking fantastic.
            11. answered: Delightful Killing
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            14. said: I love you Wilberforce
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            19. This was featured in
            20. answered: “The Little Engine That Could Murder” seems a bit obvious, but kids don’t care for subtlety.
            21. hookersorcake posted this
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