Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • October 3, 2010 12:24 pm
            Last evening the wife and I were sitting around after dinner. I got out my pipe and a snifter of Natural Light. We sorted through the TV and tried to watch a movie. We couldn’t find any good movies and I’m not gonna shell out 4.99 to watch Death Wish II so we ended up just flipping around Televisionland.  On channel 463 there is a woman filled with self doubt. See is nervously chattering while making muffins and absolutely destroying a entire fake kitchen. There are several jump cuts… fire, screaming and general mayhem and then one final jump cut which appears to be years later on a completely different set. The muffins are finally done and they turn out really super delicious. The camera zooms in tight on our baker/hostesses face as she is laughing and crying with joy while eating what appears to be the best muffin ever! and we zoom in further so that we see all of her doubt and all of her fear but we also see her radiant smile and her massive love and we think to ourselves “God dammit! Those muffins look delicious.” After several messy attempts on my part to make muffins with whiskey and grass. I see that SEX ROBOT is on! We tune in and it destroys our sense of reality…. this can’t be real. Its way too fucking good… seriously! Watch Sex Robot on the Discovery Healthchannel. And yes, perhaps I was a bit loaded on Whiskey Grass Muffins but I pulled some muscles in my ribcage from laughing so hard.

            Last evening the wife and I were sitting around after dinner. I got out my pipe and a snifter of Natural Light. We sorted through the TV and tried to watch a movie. We couldn’t find any good movies and I’m not gonna shell out 4.99 to watch Death Wish II so we ended up just flipping around Televisionland.

             On channel 463 there is a woman filled with self doubt. See is nervously chattering while making muffins and absolutely destroying a entire fake kitchen. There are several jump cuts… fire, screaming and general mayhem and then one final jump cut which appears to be years later on a completely different set. The muffins are finally done and they turn out really super delicious. The camera zooms in tight on our baker/hostesses face as she is laughing and crying with joy while eating what appears to be the best muffin ever! and we zoom in further so that we see all of her doubt and all of her fear but we also see her radiant smile and her massive love and we think to ourselves “God dammit! Those muffins look delicious.”

            After several messy attempts on my part to make muffins with whiskey and grass. I see that SEX ROBOT is on! We tune in and it destroys our sense of reality…. this can’t be real. Its way too fucking good… seriously! Watch Sex Robot on the Discovery Healthchannel. And yes, perhaps I was a bit loaded on Whiskey Grass Muffins but I pulled some muscles in my ribcage from laughing so hard.

            1. said: I watched this, too! If something could be so unbelievably disturbing that it became great, Sex Robot is it. In 2051, the human race is going to be fucked to death by machines - just like it says in Revelations.
            2. hookersorcake posted this