And there was the time I got pistol whipped in Miami. Surprisingly I didn’t lose consciousness and I even got the guy. Afterwards I stopped at the corner store to get a chocolate Nesquick and by the time I got back to my car, I didn’t know who I was or anything else. Luckily my Garmin showed me the way and the light. Within 2 days that glorious navigational device had me killing Canadians and reading popular magazines. Shortly thereafter I consumed the glowing oracle and was revealed to be the light of all being. From that day forward I knew exactly where everything was and the shortest route to get there.
I am the boundless devourer of all existence, but my friends just call me Phil.