Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • October 29, 2011 12:27 am
            And there was the time I got pistol whipped in Miami. Surprisingly I didn’t lose consciousness and I even got the guy. Afterwards I stopped at the corner store to get a chocolate Nesquick and by the time I got back to my car, I didn’t know who I was or anything else. Luckily my Garmin showed me the way and the light. Within 2 days that glorious navigational device had me killing Canadians and reading popular magazines. Shortly thereafter I consumed the glowing oracle and was revealed to be the light of all being. From that day forward I knew exactly where everything was and the shortest route to get there. I am the boundless devourer of all existence, but my friends just call me Phil.

            And there was the time I got pistol whipped in Miami. Surprisingly I didn’t lose consciousness and I even got the guy. Afterwards I stopped at the corner store to get a chocolate Nesquick and by the time I got back to my car, I didn’t know who I was or anything else. Luckily my Garmin showed me the way and the light. Within 2 days that glorious navigational device had me killing Canadians and reading popular magazines. Shortly thereafter I consumed the glowing oracle and was revealed to be the light of all being. From that day forward I knew exactly where everything was and the shortest route to get there.

            I am the boundless devourer of all existence, but my friends just call me Phil.

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