Are you on drugs? I am not currently ingesting any mind altering chemicals… though I do enjoy Cap’n Crunch, so much so, that it tears up the roof of my mouth pretty bad. Sometimes I have to take over the counter pain medication for that. I also drink lots of coffee and eat dead bee’s.
Do you seriously like sports? I enjoy bowling and fucking… friendly games of monopoly. I once played in a world championship of Monopoly (no really, they have one) It happened in my home town one year. I was broke and some guy gave me a free entry form. The tournament lasted for 3 days. I ate dirty trucker speed and read Ayn Rand and Adam Smith during the breaks. I made the final table and the other 5 dudes where all econ/math/statistics/majors. I tried to intimidate them, but I think it just made them horny. I came in 4th, just outside of the big money. I was able to pawn the special edition game, plaque and gold plated coin for an 20” chainsaw. God, did I have a lot of good times with that sweet lil baby.
What kinda music do you like? I have a unique talent. I can hear music in my head at all times. All I have to do is put some earplugs in or even sit in a quiet room with some white noise. If I think of a song I can listen to it in whole, even if I don’t know it that well. I can listen to the lyrics I didn’t know and write them down. The strange part is often times I hear music that I’ve never heard before. Once I learned the art of meditation I learned that this was just a certain kind of atmosphere of expression that all humans have. You can transcend it and have orgies with demons, which is way more fun btw.
Were you really in the military? Yes. In between gulf wars. I just pretended I was in a really long theatre production. The military is a lot like Waiting for Godot, only I played it for more laughs. Its actually the only time in my life that I read my stories aloud to groups of people. The dudes in basic training loved my stories. I’m sure they thought I was nuts. Actually according to the old court transcripts, several highly paid experts have testified under oath that I was and remain so to this day.
Who are your favorite writers? I haven’t read much classic literature or modern fiction… most of it doesn’t hold my interest. Most writing is a slow moving train. You can see where its going, so that aspect doesn’t hold my interest. I have to enjoy the words - the poetry and the overall voice of the author. And most modern shit sounds like some really really serious white dude just prattling on and on in my head…. awww shit. The white dude is I.
Can you post a pic of yourself? Sure. (see above) The late 70’s was a wild time, baby.
