I know, because they make us go through being human before we can become full fledged demons. When I was human, towards the end, I had a Real Doll made in my own image. I then had sex with it and took it to a fancy dinner. We went to the Sizzler. It was out of sight, man.
In the parking lot me and my real doll made love again but we got into an argument about pudding, I don’t want to go into it here, but let the record show, I think pudding is really awesome! So I began punching my real doll in its stupid head with a tire iron. After gnashing my teeth and gouging out my eyes I ingested the real doll in its entire material form and became the fully licensed demon you see standing before you now. Basically, I live on the edge of town under the highway bridge and I scream at cars all day. Its a living, right?
So in the middle of the night I have a lot of time to think, I’ve been thinking a lot about evil, because all demons are told from day one (if they come from a good home) that they’re the embodiment of evil. But what does evil really mean? Drinking goats blood and scaring old house wives? I’m not evil. A bit of a weird jerk, but nope, I was really never evil. I feel ashamed and I feel guilty that I let my parents down. I guess I was always just too scared to really reach out and blow up a church or smash kittens all night with the boys. I guess I never really had it in me. Maybe I should get some therapy.
