Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          • September 13, 2011 11:55 pm
             I tried on the darker Christian Dior blazer and asked the salesman if it was a bit narrow. They replied that, “The width of all things depend on the sun.” I nodded knowingly and then stopped cold. It couldn’t be them.  There is a person I have met throughout my life. They appear to me in auspicious moments. They look normal at a glance but if you look closer they begin to warp your entire reality. They’re not quite human they are strange and they have odd powers. Sometimes they are like weather other times, numerous and small. Like miniature spirit cattle feeding on the walls and ceiling of my office building. Sometimes they are massive things that cannot possibly fit into my house and yet they come barging in anyway. Skewering my sense of perspective and smashing it upon the rocks. Other times they just takes me for ice cream and maybe some shoes. Whatever the case its as if I’m sitting at the end of the models runway. I hear the music and the flash bulbs popping, but I never know whats coming through the curtain next. An animal that insults my heart? Or a quiet bedlam of startling bliss. I will look at this being and my life will be forever changed.

            I tried on the darker Christian Dior blazer and asked the salesman if it was a bit narrow. They replied that, “The width of all things depend on the sun.” I nodded knowingly and then stopped cold. It couldn’t be them. 

            There is a person I have met throughout my life. They appear to me in auspicious moments. They look normal at a glance but if you look closer they begin to warp your entire reality. They’re not quite human they are strange and they have odd powers. Sometimes they are like weather other times, numerous and small. Like miniature spirit cattle feeding on the walls and ceiling of my office building. Sometimes they are massive things that cannot possibly fit into my house and yet they come barging in anyway. Skewering my sense of perspective and smashing it upon the rocks. Other times they just takes me for ice cream and maybe some shoes.

            Whatever the case its as if I’m sitting at the end of the models runway. I hear the music and the flash bulbs popping, but I never know whats coming through the curtain next. An animal that insults my heart? Or a quiet bedlam of startling bliss.

            I will look at this being and my life will be forever changed.

            1. thedailydoodles said: I love this piece, by the way… and what the hell is this runway show. I hope those fake tits are meant to look so awful.
            2. reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
            3. said: Is it me or does the guy on the right look vaguely Richard D. James-ish?
            4. hookersorcake posted this