Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • December 15, 2009 9:30 pm
            Our neighbor was an old man named George. He was a veteran of a great war. I remember one night he was standing in our doorway and my parents were helping him. He was shaking, and his hands were bleeding. He seemed lost and scared. I guess he had fallen down in the back alley and couldn’t find his glasses. My Dad had found him, crawling around in the dark on his hands and knees.It stuck with me and I wrote a poem about it a few years later. The summer that the homecoming king shot himself in the head. The only part I remember is…back alley supermanlost in the nighthands to blind to seeI wrote another one about a pony, but it kinda sucked.

            Our neighbor was an old man named George. He was a veteran of a great war. I remember one night he was standing in our doorway and my parents were helping him. He was shaking, and his hands were bleeding. He seemed lost and scared. I guess he had fallen down in the back alley and couldn’t find his glasses. My Dad had found him, crawling around in the dark on his hands and knees.

            It stuck with me and I wrote a poem about it a few years later. The summer that the homecoming king shot himself in the head. The only part I remember is…

            back alley superman

            lost in the night

            hands to blind to see


            I wrote another one about a pony, but it kinda sucked.

          • December 15, 2009 7:12 pm
          • December 15, 2009 4:04 pm
            Lingerie & Bacon. Is she making a sex doll? Are Hall & Oates making a comeback? has Bacon Mania driven her insane?

            Lingerie & Bacon.

            Is she making a sex doll?

            Are Hall & Oates making a comeback?

            has Bacon Mania driven her insane?

          • December 15, 2009 9:18 am
          • December 15, 2009 9:17 am
          • December 14, 2009 7:30 pm
            wewillnotbeundersold: THAT’S WHY I DON’T DO COCAINE, TODD. Todd…he-he

            :

            THAT’S WHY I DON’T DO COCAINE, TODD.

            Todd…he-he

          • December 14, 2009 7:07 pm
            happytits: AHHH spring fresh titties I love when they’re still warm from the dryer.

            :

            AHHH spring fresh titties

            I love when they’re still warm from the dryer.

          • December 14, 2009 11:37 am

            :

            (via )

            Egan denied hitting the man with the steak but did admit to slapping him, saying she did it “so that he could learn.”

            Learn to get the fuck outta Florida.

            also did it say what kinda cut the steak was? I wouldn’t press charges if it was a nice tender rib eye, but a sirloin or a strip? Thats aggravated assault.

          • December 14, 2009 9:05 am
            Hickery dickery dock your a little old Jewish man

            Hickery dickery dock

            your a little old Jewish man

          • December 14, 2009 8:30 am

            Happy Monday!

            and if your a paid employee this should be last full week of work until next year.

            ahhh another year of taking it like a champ, come and gone (pun unintentional)