Hookers or Cake

Where the self-obsessed get serious about silly
I'm too wacky to be hip.

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    • Illustration
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    • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

      ------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

      ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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        • ----------------------------------------- some writing

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          tell me lies! Submit stuff
          • December 19, 2009 11:31 am
            Thats one way to get into heaven.

            Thats one way to get into heaven.

          • December 19, 2009 10:49 am
          • December 19, 2009 10:33 am
            [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] 20 plays

            :

            Lenny Bruce | Are There Any Niggers Here Tonight? (San Francisco, 1963)

            Probably Lenny Bruce’s most attention-grabbing satire on the unfortunate power of words. His theory was that if you take so-called “dirty” words or phrases, and you say them enough, they will lose their meaning and thus be stripped of their power to hurt and offend.

            He is forever my hero.

            My opinion is that so-called derogatory slurs continue to remain taboo and outrageous due in large part to civil activist organizations constantly feeding off their destructive power, all the while protesting for a constant need for the people to “do something about it.” Without hurtful words and the refusal of the mainstream to accept everyone equally and openly these groups would have a harder time justifying themselves, it seems.

            “and Lenny Bruce is not afraid.” REM

            Yeah if you don’t know anything about Lenny Bruce, at least watch “Lenny” w/ Dustin Hoffman playing Lenny - its a damn fine biopic that most everyone will enjoy. Then if your interested try a concert film or some of the old recordings.

            Not only did Lenny attack BS, but he was a one man improv troupe. An amazing mind. In a way its kind of a sad comment on our culture that his stuff is still so cutting edge 50 years later.

          • December 19, 2009 12:55 am
            justjori: lifeslittle: bathroomwindow: (via soyqueso) dad lifeslittle: mom??????? God?

            :

            :

            :

            (via )

            dad

            :

            mom???????

            God?

          • December 19, 2009 12:52 am
            by candlelight you took out my fillings rusty pliers and a handle of cheap gin afraid of the mercury now I don’t get any radio stations at all its just mute shadow puppet shows and they always turn into fistfights til I cant tell the blood from the rust

            by candlelight
            you took out my fillings

            rusty pliers and a handle of cheap gin
            afraid of the mercury

            now I don’t get any radio stations at all
            its just mute shadow puppet shows

            and they always turn into fistfights
            til I cant tell the blood from the rust

          • December 18, 2009 8:58 am
            thefuzzydave: TRUE FACT: If you licked Sammy’s glass eye during a full moon and snapped your fingers 3 times, you would transform into a falcon for 6 minutes. (via magicdot)

            :

            TRUE FACT: If you licked Sammy’s glass eye during a full moon and snapped your fingers 3 times, you would transform into a falcon for 6 minutes.

            (via )

          • December 18, 2009 8:37 am
            TGIF Bitches

            TGIF Bitches

          • December 17, 2009 11:13 pm
            (via xxx1990) Dude! I totally use to date this girl

            (via )

            Dude! I totally use to date this girl

          • December 17, 2009 10:56 pm
            onlyaabutxxx: comicallyvintage:(via: armagideon-time) Rick never did GET electronic music though he liked the drugs and fuckin’ LOVED the fishnets.

            :

            :(via: armagideon-time)

            Rick never did GET electronic music

            though he liked the drugs and

            fuckin’ LOVED the fishnets.

          • December 17, 2009 10:32 pm
            My friend and yours, Mister King. A damn fine Chicago photographer.

            My friend and yours, Mister King. A damn fine Chicago photographer.